If you're applying this Fall 2025 and are starting to feel overwhelmed, read this...

Trust me, I've been there.

So it’s mid-October, and we’re in the swing of fall - the crisp weather, pumpkin spice everything, football and chili and all the soups - aka my favorite season.

What’s usually a cozy, exciting lead-up to the holiday season feels different this time of year - thanks to the elephant in the room: PhD applications.

If you’re one of the lucky ones right in the thick of PhD programs right now, I’m sorry to tell you - but from someone who has gone through the process, this holiday season is about to be sidelined by your PhD applications.

… Actually, if most of your deadlines are on December 1 (like mine were), your month of December will be a (small) break you can look forward to.

You’re about to spend your Thanksgiving week in full application mode, though.

If this is you, welcome. I see you, because I was you (submitting applications during Thanksgiving).

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Instead, this holiday season might end up being a season of doubt. Of comparison. Of that constant, underlying feeling of being overwhelmed and inadequate and not enough.

You’re feeling burdened with the thought of applying to so many programs - trying to track multiple deadlines, program requirements, fees, tiny portal checkboxes.

You’re questioning if your GPA even stands a chance.

You’ve heard horror stories about people who got rejected from every single program. I saw this girl online had a 4.0 GPA and 2+ years of research experience at Harvard/MIT, so what’s the hope for me?

You’re unsure how to navigate the whole (mostly unspoken) process of letters of recommendation - trying your best not to overstep or take up too much of your professors’ time.

You’re feeling behind in the application cycle, hearing from others who have already completed x, y, and z… and you’re starting to feel stressed that you should’ve been done with that by now.

Or, maybe this is your second (third, fourth) time applying and it feels even lonelier.

And don’t even begin to mention the funding cuts that’s been going on recently… just to make things even harder.

But maybe the hardest part of all this, is that you crave support, but you don’t really want to go to people that you know for advice.

At least, that’s how it was for me. I didn’t want to expose my innermost insecurities and doubts with the people around me. I didn’t want them to see that I was second guessing my own accomplishments and comparing myself constantly to what I was hearing from others.

So even when someone asked me “How are the applications going?”

I’d shrug, project nonchalance, and say “Good!” - even when inside I was thinking:

I have no idea if what I’m doing is leading to something and I really have gotten swept up in the comparison and self-doubt spiral and I really wish someone would just sit in this with me.

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Here are some things I wish I could’ve told myself, back then:

You’re not crazy for feeling like this. It’s normal. And you’re not behind.

The very fact that there is an inkling; something in your bones, pushing you, driving you to put yourself through this - the comparison, the risk, the vulnerability, the possibility of rejection - means something:

In another timeline, it’s already yours.

I was in your exact position, two years ago in 2023. And I’m here now in 2025 to offer you some hope. I’m a Neuroscience PhD student in the Brown-NIH Graduate Partnership Program, and sometimes I still can’t believe it.

I get chills sometimes when I step back and realize that I am actually living my dream. I remember when I was going through it, I just wanted a sign, some reassurance, some validation - that that feeling I had to keep going, to push past the doubt, the insecurity, was worth it.

I’m here to tell you and that younger version of myself - it’s worth it.

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But back then, what I needed most wasn’t just some empty words of encouragement. I didn’t want someone to just placate me and tell me “You’re going to do great!” - when I realistically wasn’t.

Instead, I wanted structure and information. I wish someone had:

Sat with me while I sorted through which programs I was thinking of applying to, and my rationale for each. Handed me an organized template to track deadlines, requirements, and my progress on each application. Told me, “The insecurities you’re feeling? Everyone, even those that look confident, feel them too.”

So, that’s why I created this Substack. To build a quiet community of people that are also feeling similar things, but won’t let that stop them from trying to achieve their dreams. A space for you to come to when you’re feeling the weight of all this.

And for those, like me, that feel calmer with more structure and information, I decided to write down everything I knew from going through the application cycle myself, from seeing things on the other side, and from the advice my mentors gave me that truly mattered.

It ended up becoming a 45-page guide I called “My Ultimate Guide to Navigating PhD Applications”. Think of it as insider tips and reflections from someone who has gone through the process before - and is on the other side, knowing what I know now. It’s everything I wish I had - the strategy, the mindset, and the reflections from both sides of the application cycle (yours and the admissions committee). Not just the information, but the perspective. Read more about it, here.

My goal is to offer both insight and reassurance - not to just inform you, but to help you become that version of yourself you’re striving towards.

And, if you’re looking to get thoughtful and detailed feedback on your PhD application materials, my PhD Application Review, here, was created to help you present your strongest self to any admissions committee.

That very act of trying - of investing your time and effort into pursuing your goals - already sets you apart. You are capable, and you belong in these spaces you’re working towards. Your effort is evidence that you are already on the path.

If you feel inclined, leave a comment - tell me where you are in the process, what you’re feeling, what you’re afraid to say out loud. I’ll read every single one.